A MARRIAGE FOR THE BIRDS
by Metropolis Kid
Summary: Craziest thing I've done since "Crossovers Can Drive You Crazy". Seras and Alucard are together. But there's a line the Fledgling wont cross until they've been married. I Guess there's going to be a Hellsing wedding. LoL. Please, DO NOT take seriously!
1. You Ruined the Wedding!

**A MARRIAGE FOR THE BIRDS**

**AN:** This is written in a little bit different style. The beginning of this takes place during the main battle, then I'm going back and describing the events that led up to it before finally finishing the fight. You might say, I'm starting in the middle.

This takes place after "Sometimes One Head is Better" but you should be able to easily understand it even if you haven't read my other little story.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any material contained within this story. All copyrighted content remains the property of the person, people, or organization that holds the copyright. This story is solely for fun.

**CHAPTER 1: You Ruined the Wedding!**

"Everyone down! Here they come again!" Integra shouted as she saw them turning and coming around for another pass. The Hellsing steadied her aim and fired off three rounds, nailing two of them in the head and literally winging a third. The knight tried to get off a few more shots before she ducked for cover, but her gun made an irritating clicking sound. Integra sighed then ducked behind the lawn chairs that had become the group's makeshift bunker.

"I'm out!" The knight yelled to her servant, and he threw her another clip. As the enemy zoomed over Integra's head, the knight inserted the clip and cocked her weapon, which made a much more satisfying 'click'.

Alucard stood up and laughed manically as he blasted more of the enemy, taking several of them out before they had the chance to circle around for another pass. Then he turned to Integra. "Isn't this fun, Master?"

"NO! This is not 'fun' you stupid vampire! You know how hard Seras and I worked to put this wedding together? And you... you ruined it!?" The knight accused.

"I ruined it? Master, I'm not the one who ordered so many."

"You're the one who decided they'd make a tasty dinner!"

"True." the ancient vampire conceded. "But if they possessed the same instinct for self preservation that every other animal in creation has, the rest of them wouldn't have attacked. They'd have just cowered in fear and been grateful that they weren't going on dinner plates."

"Yeah... right. Try explaining that to your blushing bride."

"Hey, that reminds me." Maxwell cut in and turned to Integra. "Where is your other servant?"

"Last time I saw her, she was chasing after that 'priest' that was suppose to 'marry' the two of them." Heinkel answered.

"You mean the guy who stole my Katana?" Yumiko asked.

"How many other priests are around here?" Heinkel replied sarcastically.

"Well... there's you, Father Anderson, Max..."

"Alright, alright." Heinkel interrupted. "I get it... Yes, the guy who stole your Katana." The trans-gen finished as she sniped off another of the enemy.

"I wonder what he wanted it for, anyway." The Nun mused to herself.

**Within the, not too distant, hedge maze: **

Seras, clothed in a white bridal gown, was still chasing after the runaway priest. She turned a corner and stopped as she caught sight of him. "Hey, get back here! You haven't married us yet!" The Draculina shouted, but the priest turned the next corner and vanished from sight. Seras huffed, discarded her veil, tore a rip in the side of her gown (so she could take longer strides) then took off after the priest again.

The priest was nearly to the center of the maze when Seras leapt and caught him in a flying tackle. She pinned him to the ground. "Stop running. We can protect you."

Struggling beneath the vampire, the priest replied, "It's not me I'm worried about."

As if to punctuate the declaration, Seras heard a shrill scream. The vampire recognized the voice as the one belonging to the boy who had accompanied Alucard's daughters. Seras sighed and let the priest up. Then she turned to him, eying the Katana in his hand. "You know how to use that thing?"

The priest made a coy smile. "Just watch me."

**Over by a table, near the mansion's rear entrance:**

Walter stood, nobly doing his best to protect the wedding gifts. He twirled his fingers tightening the lines of his 'dental floss of death' and cutting five more of the enemy into pieces. Then the Hellsing butler turned to the large Celtic man at his side. "You know, never in all my life did I expect to end up fighting in a battle like this."

Anderson replied as he flicked his wrists, skewering more of their common enemy. "Yeah, pecked ta death by thousands of white doves. Gotta admit, I never saw dis comin'."

Walter smiled. "Well, we're not done for yet." He cast his wires out like a net, slicing into another squadron of the marriage birds.

**Back at the makeshift bunker:**

Another round of birds swooped down and attacked. Alucard launched a mass of shadow tendrils out of his shoulders, impaling a dozen of them in mid flight. The rest broke off to regroup. "You know, Master, I really don't understand why you ordered so many of these... winged rats."

"I didn't! Seras ordered the birds." Integra replied as she fired after the retreating creatures.

"Well, why did she order so many?"

"How should I know!" Integra shouted.

Maxwell chose that moment to cut in again. "You know, Integra, I'd just like to thank you for inviting us to this 'wonderful celebration'." Maxwell's tone practically oozed sarcasm.

"Hey! Don't blame me. Blame the two idiot vampires who ordered waaaay too many doves... and then decided to start killing some of them for dinner. Besides, I never thought you'd actually come!"

"So why'd you invite us?"

"Because," Integra drew the word out a little bit more than was usual. "**I never thought you'd come**." Integra sighed and reflected on just how she'd gotten herself into this predicament. Like everything else that went wrong in her life, it all started with Alucard.

* * *

**Six months earlier:**

"You want to get MARRIED!?" Integra shouted.

"No," Her servant calmly replied. "I want to get her into bed." Alucard grinned for a moment before continuing, "But the Police Girl refuses to do anything more than 'neck' until she has 'a ring on her finger'." Alucard sighed. "I tell you, Master, she can be quite frustrating at times."

Integra sat back, and pinched the brim of her nose, causing her glasses to raise slightly. The knight felt another of her headaches coming on. "I suppose..." Integra began slowly. "You've already explained to Seras that, according to vampire tradition, she's been your 'bride' since the first time you sunk your fangs into her neck."

Alucard huffed. "Of course, I have, Master. But she says that doesn't count. She wants to be married in accordance with English tradition, not just vampiric."

Integra took off her glasses, screwed her eyes shut and began to rub her temples. This was going to be a big one. While attempting to massage away her growing headache, the knight asked. "Do, you have any idea what's involved with a traditional English wedding?"

"No, Master." Alucard began then paused. "But do you remember those dreams you were having a few months ago?"

Integra stopped rubbing, and her eyes instantly shot open. "I thought I told you to never bring those up again."

"Yes. You did, the same day you told Seras how I felt about her. Forgive me, Master... but if things keep going the way they are, those dreams might start back up again."

"Are you threatening me, Vampire?" Integra glared at her servant.

"Not at all, Master. I'm merely informing you that I'm getting... 'frustrated' again; and if something doesn't happen soon, some of that frustration may start to bleed through our connection." The vampire grinned slightly. "Or would you've preferred it that I didn't warn you and you woke up in the middle of the night with your han..."

"Stop!" Integra shouted, then growled "Not another word, Vampire."

"Of course, Master." Alucard coyly replied.

"And wipe that grin off your face!"

"Yes, Master." The vampire answered, then stood there quietly for a few minutes before prompting, "So, about the marriage?"

Integra shook her head. "I suppose there's no other way for you two to work this out?"

"No, Master. I do not believe so."

The knight sighed, "Fine. You can have your marriage. I'll go over the details with Seras tomorrow."

"Thank you, Master." The vampire servant bowed, before disappearing through the floor.

Integra hit a button on her intercom. "Walter I need you to bring me up a glass of water and some aspirin."

Walter's voice chimed back through the machine. "Of course, Sir. How many would you like? Is this a normal headache... or an Alucard headache?"

Integra scoffed. "It's an Alucard and Seras want to get married headache."

The machine was quiet for a moment while Walter recovered from Integra's declaration. "Oh, dear. I'll just bring up the bottle."

"Thanks, Walter." Walter had a good idea about the bottle. Integra had a feeling that she'd be needing A LOT of aspirin over the next couple of weeks.

(Well, what did you think of the first chapter. I'm not really sure when I'll get around to updating this, but hopefully it won't take too long.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.)


	2. Dresses and Invitations

**A MARRIAGE FOR THE BIRDS**

**CHAPTER 2: Dresses and Invitations.**

At 2:00 PM the next afternoon, a strawberry blonde fledgling cracked the door to Integra's office. The Hellsing looked up from the large, 3-ring binder. "Yes?" She inquired, slightly irritated at having been interrupted.

The door opened another inch and a blue eye was visible behind it. "Um, Sir, Master said you wanted to talk with me." The fledgling stated, then quickly added, "B-but if this is a bad time, I can come back later."

Integra's tone softened, and she chuckled slightly as she closed the binder. "No. Not at all. Please, come in." Seras entered then approached her boss's desk. "Have a seat." Integra motioned to one of the chairs across from her and Seras sat down, her hands neatly folded in her lap. "Alucard tells me you want to get married." The knight stated bluntly, causing Seras a mild amount of shock.

"Uh, yes Sir. I-I think it only right that we be married before we, um... you know." The red blush in Seras's cheeks made her meaning plain.

"Yes... I can understand that. Even if you are a vampire, you've never acted much like one."

Seras wasn't quite sure if the statement was meant as a compliment... or an insult. But do to her normally optimistic attitude, the fledgling decided to take it as the former. "Ah, thank you?"

Integra regarded the young vampire with an unfamiliar look, one that did nothing to clarify the intension behind her previous statement, before continuing, "You are, of course, aware that you've technically been Alucard's bride since the first time he drank from you, right?"

"Y-yes... Master informed me of that. But..." Seras paused nervously.

Integra completed the statement for her. "But you want a traditional English wedding?" Seras nodded. "Well... I think we can arrange that." Integra reopened the binder, revealing a collection of pages cropped out of various bridal and wedding magazines. Seras's face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning, and Integra smiled as she added, "Depending on just how 'traditional' you want it, of course."

Seras looked, from the pictures, back up at her boss. Integra noticed the confused expression and responded, "It is... difficult for a vampire to enter an uncorrupted church."

"Oh." Seras nodded, now understanding Integra's meaning. "Well, I guess it doesn't have to take place in a church." The vampire let out a little giggle.

Integra's cheek pulled back slightly. The knight often found Seras's almost child like mannerisms amusing. The Hellsing recognized that, likely as not, Seras was the closest she'd ever come to a having a child, though Integra's own image prevented her from ever being able to tell the young vampire so.

"Good. That'll make things quite a bit easier. Tell me, how would you feel about a government official preforming the ceremony?" Seras didn't answer. She just sat there, fidgeting. But the fidgeting was more than enough to tell the knight that her vampire was uncomfortable with the suggestion. "Got your heart set on a man of the church, huh?" The knight let out a little sigh. "Finding one willing to marry two vampires will not likely be an easy task... but I guess we can try. The worst they can do is say no, right?"

Seras nodded again, feeling relieved that things were going so well. She'd half expected Integra to yell and throw her silver ash tray at her, like the knight often did to her other vampire servant when he suggested something absurd.

"I guess the next step would be picking out a wedding dress." The knight turned the binder around, to give the vampire a better view. Integra flipped through a few pages, then pointed to a wedding dress. "What do you think of this one?"

"Oh, it's beautiful!" Seras's eyes sparkled, but when she saw the price, her face fell. "I-I can't afford something like that."

"Don't worry about the money." Integra replied, once again surprising the vampire. "When I was born, my father started a trust fund for my wedding. We'll be using that to cover all your expenses."

Seras's eyes went wide. "S-sir, we... we couldn't."

Integra held up her hand, "Nonsense. Since I doubt I'll ever find a man worth marrying, I figure we mine as well use the money for your wedding."

"B-but..." Seras dropped her latest objection as Integra fixed the vampire with a look that made her blood run cold-er.

"I insist." The Knight nearly growled. "Consider it my wedding present... if it makes you feel any better."

Seras gulped then nodded. "Y-yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir."

"Good girl." Integra smirked for a brief moment, then turned back to the picture of the wedding gown. "So, do you like this one? Or would you prefer another?"

Seras examined the picture again. It was truly a beautiful gown, but it was also the first she'd taken a good look at. "Uh, this one is really, really nice... but would it be okay if I flipped through some of the others?"

Integra smiled and let out a chuckle. "Of course, Seras. It's **your** wedding after all."

* * *

It was late, nearly midnight, and Integra was in the process of reviewing the guest list her and Seras had compiled when Alucard returned to give her the report of his latest mission. Integra set the pad of names down and listened intently as her servant described the slaughter of the ghouls and the decapitation of the latest 'faker'.

Perhaps it was a side effect of Alucard's having had a hand in raising her or the bond that they shared, but Integra discovered long ago that she rather enjoyed his tales of bloodshed. They were exciting, engrossing... almost addictive. Of course, through a supreme force of will, the knight was always able to maintain her stone cold expression. It would not do to give too much away. No, not even to him... especially not to him. So she listened intently to the debriefing, never once dropping her guard and displaying how much she enjoyed it.

Though in truth, Alucard still had some inkling. His master could hide her expressions, but not that occasional twinkle in her eye when he reached an exceptionally gruesome part. Occasionally, on other nights, the vampire would call his master on that twinkle.

In his own way, he would tease her about it, much like an uncle and his niece. Of course few uncles ended up holding their head in their hands after a round of 'teasing', but then few uncles were as resilient as Alucard. To the powerful vampire, his master's 'abuse' was nothing more than a punch in the shoulder; and he regarded it as such.

But that night there was no teasing. That night Alucard had something else on his mind, something that caused him to linger just a bit longer than he usually did after completing his reports.

"Was there something else, Alucard?" Integra inquired as she noticed her servant had yet to leave.

Alucard looked around as if he had something he wanted to ask... no, something he didn't want to ask, but had to anyway. The ancient vampire's eyes finally rested on the pad of paper. "The guess list for the wedding?"

Integra followed her servant's eyes. "Yes." She answered suspiciously. "Why?"

"There are a couple of people I'd like to invite."

For the first time in nearly a decade, the knight's eyes went wide at one of her servant's statements. "There are?" She asked in a clearly shocked tone. Seras had put a few people down on the list, some orphans she had become particularly close to during her childhood and a few bobbies she'd gone through training with, bobbies who were fortunate enough to not be assigned to division eleven. But Integra had never imagined Alucard would have people he wanted to invite. As far as she knew, everyone the vampire was even remotely close to would already be attending. However, he was the groom; and as such, it was his wedding too.

"Yes, Master. I would like to invite two people... if I am allowed."

Having recovered from her surprise, Integra's voice returned to normal as she replied. "Don't be stupid, Alucard. Of course you're allowed to invite people to your own wedding. Who are they?"

"Moka Akashiya and Kokoa Shuzen, Master." Alucard paused and, although it was completely unnecessary from a biological standpoint, he took a deep breath before continuing. "They... They are my daughters."

The 'Woman of Steel's' jaw nearly hit the floor. "You... you have children?"

"They were conceived, shortly after you released me. A man, even a dead one, can build up a lot of 'frustration' after being sealed up for over two decades, and I needed a way to vent."

"So you went out and had yourself a 'night on the town'?"

"Well, yes. Not this town of course. I traveled halfway around the world to ensure I would not draw any undue attention to you or the Hellsing organization. But over in Japan, oh I had fun, Master." The vampire grinned at the memory.

"Yeah, I just bet you did." Integra replied in a sardonic tone. "So much, in fact, that you got a woman pregnant, right?"

"Two in fact."

"Two?"

Alucard grinned again. "I had **a lot** of fun, Master."

"Well, that's just great. So there've been a couple of Dhampirs active in Japan for the last decade and a half?" Integra just shook her head.

"Oh, Master, they would hardly be noticed, believe me. Japan has a lot higher monster population than England, and my daughters have kept a relatively low profile."

"But now you want to bring them to England." Integra protested.

"Only until the wedding, Master. And in truth, I'm not even sure they'll come. I've never been a big part of their lives... But I think they should, at least, be invited."

Integra shook her head again, but couldn't help imagining if her father had lived to marry and never invited her to the wedding. "Alright, I'll invite them, but you are going to be responsible for their actions while they're here. Is that understood?"

Alucard bowed. "Yes, Master, of course. They will not cause you any trouble. They could not anyway. They were conceived after I was bound to your bloodline. They have the same restrictions as I... Well, for the most part." The vampire replied as he once again sank through the floor of his master's office.

"And, of course, **you** never cause me any problems." Integra sarcastically commented, more to herself than her already vanished servant. Then the knight opened one of the draws in her desk and retrieved her bottle of aspirin. She dumped four pills into her palm and downed them with a shot of scotch from her father's liquor cabinet.

Turning back around, Integra locked eyes with a portrait of her father. "Now I understand why you kept so much alcohol. Dealing with Alucard would drive **anyone** to drink."

(Well, what did you think of the second chapter. Please review and let me know what you think, thanks.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.)


	3. A Complicated Relationship

**A MARRIAGE FOR THE BIRDS**

**CHAPTER 3: A Complicated Relationship.**

**AN:** Sorry, I won't be getting to Alucard's two daughters in this chapter. I was planning too, but the preliminary stuff just ran too long. But I have them arriving at the end. So, next chapter for sure. LoL. Sorry.

After Alucard left and Integra finished off the bottle of old scotch, she half walked half staggered back to her desk and added her servant's two daughters to the guest list. Then the partially intoxicated knight got what, in her current condition, seemed to be an absolutely hilarious idea. She'd invite the Iscariots!

They'd never show up of course, and that was a good thing. Integra didn't want them at her house any more than she wanted Alucard... or even Seras around her during one of the knight's 'cycles'. But she could just imagine the look on Maxwell's face when he discovered that she was allowing her two vampires to get married. He'd go through the roof, might even have a heart attack! And that was just too good to pass up. Integra added four more names to the list before passing out at her desk.

A couple of hours later, Walter entered the room to retrieve the guest list and begin preparing the invitations. He sighed when he saw Integra's head laying on her desk, an empty bottle of scotch not more than five feet away. "Getting to be more like her father everyday."

The butler pocketed the list then grabbed the unconscious Hellsing and, displaying a dexterity that no one his age should've still possessed, slung her over one shoulder and carried her to her bed.

* * *

One week before the wedding, Seras and Integra were putting the final touches into place. Seras had just finished ordering the tuxedos, including a special one she had picked out for her Master. It was a rather dashing tuxedo, as far above the common 'penguin suit' as Alucard was above the common vampire. It even had a cape slightly reminiscent of the ones Dracula was often portrayed wearing in romanticized vampire movies. And as Seras sat, picturing her master in the outfit, she subconsciously doodled little hearts on one of the order forms.

Integra was not enjoying herself nearly as much. "He can't make it! What do you mean he can't make it! We had a deal!!!" The knight screamed into the phone causing the fledgling beside her to jump.

Seras turned to her boss and asked, "What's wrong? Who can't make it?"

Integra held up one finger; and despite Seras's apprehension, she was immediately silent. "Ahuh, car accident. Well, maybe he could preform the ceremony over speaker phone? In a coma? It took me over a month to find a pastor willing to marry two vampires, and then he goes and gets himself in a coma! Why does everything happen to me? What do you mean that's insensitive! You want to know what's insensitive? Taking a hundred thousand pound brib... Er, I mean 'ceremony fee' and then going and getting yourself in a coma! Now that's insensitive!" Integra paused briefly. "Yeah, well same to you!" The knight slammed the phone down on the receiver, causing Seras to jump again. Then Integra closed her eyes and began to massage her temples.

"That was about the minister, seems he won't be available on the twenty-first."

A horrified look passed over Seras's face. "What are we going to do?"

"We may have to postpone the wedding." Integra stated.

"But... but, Sir, we've already sent out the invitations, hired the caterers, ordered the tables, the food..."

"Yes, I know!" Integra interrupted a bit more harshly than she'd intended. The knight growled then sighed. "I'll try to find a replacement minister. If I can't... Well, there's still the option of a judge."

"B-but... but..." Seras wasn't sure what to say. To her the minister was the third most important part of the wedding, right after the bride and groom. Getting married without one meant it would be a 'Godless' marriage, hardly anything more than she already had through vampire tradition.

"I'm sorry, Seras. I know how much you had your heart set on a minister. I'll do my best to find one before the wedding... But we have to be realistic. If we don't find a replacement in time would you rather postpone the wedding... or go forward with a government official?"

"I... I don't know."

"Well you have... **some** time to make up your mind. Perhaps you should talk it over with the groom."

Seras nearly scoffed. She knew her master didn't care about the wedding. He just wanted to get her into bed and was only willing to go through with the 'farce' to make her happy. He couldn't care less if they were married by a minister, a judge or... a juggling bear on a unicycle.

Still, she supposed that, as the groom, he should be told what was going on. So the fledgling excused herself and headed down to her master's quarters. She didn't bother to knock. The two of them had become... 'close' enough that she no longer felt the need to. Besides, it wasn't like she'd walk in on him when he was changing. Her master just shape shifted his clothes to suit the occasion. In fact, as Seras opened the door to her master's 'lair', she briefly wondered just why she'd bothered to order him a tuxedo.

The room was dark and scarcely furnished, possessing little more than an ebony coffin and an old throne. Since the No-Life King's throne was empty, Seras knew she'd find him resting in the coffin. Not that that was a big surprise. Although the sun couldn't hurt him, Alucard was still very much a creature of the night.

Seras walked over to the coffin and gently raised the lid. She was surprised to see her master had his eyes already open. _Must have sensed me when I entered._

"I sure hope you have a good reason for disturbing me, Police Girl. Does Master have a mission for us?" The vampire grinned coyly. "Or have you decided to let me have some 'fun' with you before the marriage?"

Seras blushed. "Master, is that all you ever think about?"

Alucard chuckled, and then cooed, "Oh, my little fledgling, why waste thought on other things. There are only two great joys in life... and they both begin with an 'F'."

Seras's blush deepened as she got her master's meaning, and Alucard smirked. Despite being a vampire and hanging around with him, his fledgling was still so innocent. It was rather cute... even if it did mean that he had to postpone his 'fun'.

"So if Master doesn't have a mission for us and you didn't come in here to 'play', why did you interupt me, Police Girl?"

"I thought you should know that we've lost our minister."

"Oh, did he get cold feet? Finally decide that marrying two demons was something the Lord might frown upon? I could have a talk with him. I can be very..." Alucard's lips pulled into a toothy grin. "Persuasive."

"Um, I don't think a 'talk' would do much good. He got in a car accident and is now in a coma."

Alucard snorted. "Week human."

Seras ignored her master's comment and continued. "We may have to postpone the wedding."

At this Alucard became furious. "Postpone the... Postpone the wedding!" The ancient vampire rose from his coffin. "Six months of working together, over a year of dating and nearly another six months being engaged!" Alucard reached out and grabbed Seras's collar, pulling her in close. His voice shifted into a low growl. "I've waited longer for you than I have for any woman in five hundred years!" The No-Life King wrapped an arm around his 'bride's' neck and pulled it to his mouth.

Seras heard her master's voice invade her mind. _And on the twenty-first, I will have you..._ o_ne way, or another. _He ran his fangs over the soft flesh and licked the two marks she still bore from their first meeting. _Or perhaps I should just take you now._

"Master, please." Seras pleaded, tears forming in her eyes. "Please don't."

Normally, the ancient vampire was unmoved by such displays of emotion; but things were different with his fledgling. For some reason, one that even he didn't fully understand, her tears were able to play upon the strings of his dark and withered heart. With a rather loud growl, one that was aimed more at himself than Seras, the No-Life King released his 'bride'.

She slumped to the floor and cried softly. Alucard watched her for a moment, trying to summon up his usual disgust for anyone who showed weakness. But it wouldn't come. He could fake it. He had before. But that wasn't what he really wanted to do.

So instead, Alucard cursed his fledgling as he knelt down beside her and wrapped his arms around her. "Shush, It's okay. I... I wouldn't really..." Unable to finish the sentence, Alucard cupped Seras's chin and raised her head. "Come, now. Stop crying, please." Alucard grimaced as he realized the words he'd just used. But after a few more sniffles, Seras did stop crying; and that made it worth it... almost.

The two vampire's locked eyes, and their mouths moved closer to each other. Their lips parted slightly, and then... Walter burst into the room.

A bead of sweat rolled down the old butler's forehead. "Ah, sorry to interrupt... But your guests are here."

"Guests?" Seras asked.

"Alucard's two daughters." Walter answered. "And they've brought a boy with them."

Alucard groaned. "Oh, not him again. Honestly, I don't understand what my daughter sees in that weakling." The vampire sighed. Then turned to the butler. "Thank you, Walter. I'll be up in a couple of minutes."

"Very good, Sir." Walter bowed before exiting.

(Well, what did you think of the third chapter. Please review and let me know what you think, thanks.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.)


	4. Hellsing&Vampire

**A MARRIAGE FOR THE BIRDS**

**CHAPTER 4: Hellsing+Vampire**

**AN:** I was going to make a joke about how in Rosario+Vampire, tomato juice can be used as an alternative to blood. But I just couldn't find a place I thought it fit in well. Sorry. Maybe I'll find an opening in one of the future chapters. Anyway, hope you enjoy. :)

Alucard had said that he needed a moment to prepare before he met with his daughters. Seras had no idea what that meant, but she decided not to press the issue. He'd explain it to her when he was ready... if he ever was. So Seras had gone on a head of him.

The fledgling found herself rather eager to meet the daughters of the 'man' she was marrying. Why her master had kept something as important as the fact that he had offspring a secret from her, Seras didn't know. But considering who he was, she imagined that he probably had many important secrets. She hoped he'd one day be comfortable enough with her that he would no longer feel the need to hide things. But she wasn't going to push him. If she did, she knew he'd just withdraw more. Besides it wasn't like she had to hurry things along. They'd have plenty of time to... 'get to know one another'.

At least he was inviting his family to the wedding. That had to be a good sign. Perhaps he was taking it more seriously than she'd thought. Perhaps the wedding was more than a 'farce' to him after all. The fledgling's face brightened at the thought.

Then it fell as she neared the stairs and heard a crashing sound from up above. Seras raced up the steps and to the sound of the commotion, where she was startled to find a pink haired, teenage girl running away from a shorter red haired one, a red haired one who was wielding some kind of spiked mace.

"Ahhh! Sister, stop! Please!" The pink haired one shouted while ducking behind a small end-table.

The red head brought the mace crashing down, demolishing the end-table and nearly hitting what was apparently her sister. "I'll stop." The red head replied, then paused for a moment before continuing, "Just as soon as Tsukune-kun gets his butt over here and removes that rosario!" And with that, the red head took off after her sister again.

While trying to keep one step ahead of her... possibly homicidal sister, the pink haired girl pleaded, "Please, Kokoa-chan think about what you're doing! Father will not like you destroying his furniture. You're going to end up with another red bottom!"

The red head paused for a moment and replied, "What's a few broken pieces of furniture when compared to having his real daughter at his wedding?" She lifted the mace high again... only to have it roughly yanked out of her hands.

"Hey!" The red head shouted and turned to see a strawberry-blonde vampire holding the mace. "What do you think you're doing?!"

"Stopping you before things get any worse!" Seras replied as she looked around the room. Not since the Valentine brother's raid had a part of the mansion been such a mess. "Ohhhh. If Integra sees this, she'll stake the lot of us!" Seras exclaimed then felt her left hand flopping back and forth. The startled fledgling looked over to see that, rather than a mace, she was now holding a winged bat! And the bat was apparently very anxious to get free. "Ahhhh!" The vampire yelled and released her grip upon the bat.

Now free, the bat flew up and exclaimed, "Today's battle lasted fifty-seven seconds! And what do you know, Moka-chan didn't transform again! Chuu!"

Starting to doubt her sanity, Seras shook her head back and forth before turning to the pink haired girl and asking, "Did... did that bat just talk?!"

The pink haired girl, touched the tips of her fingers together nervously. "Kokoa-chan's bat familiar often comments on our fights. Hehe."

Seras's brow knit and she looked around, feeling like Alice in Wonderland. _Am... am I dreaming? Yes, that has to be it. There is no other explanation. This is just too crazy to be real._ The fledgling pinched her arm in an effort to wake herself but simply ended up yelping instead. _Okay... I guess I'm not dreaming after all. But... But then this is really hap..._

Seras's thought was interrupted as she heard her master's voice bellowing behind her. "What is going on here?!"

Everyone in the room jumped, and Seras turned to explain what had happened. But then her jaw dropped as she saw her master. His hair was silver, shoulder length and immaculately groomed. Rather than his usual, red coat and fedora hat, he was wearing what appeared to be a very expensive, regal looking suit; and his skin was a cream color, rather than it's usual pale white. "M-Master?" Alucard turned to his fledgling, but she just stammered, "What... I... You... What..." Finally Seras decided to pinch herself again, however she got the same result as last time.

Alucard sighed and turned to his two daughters. "Someone had better start explaining what happened here." He growled.

"Kokoa-chan attacked me... again." The pink haired girl replied.

The ancient vampire turned to glare at his other daughter, and she coward back a little. "Ah, I was just trying to help." Alucard took a step towards the girl, and she subconsciously took a step back as she continued, "You see I, uh... figured that you'd want the real Moka-chan at your wedding, not the fake one."

A boy popped his head out from under the room's central table. "This Moka-chan's not fake!" He exclaimed, but a glare and growl from Alucard sent him right back under the tablecloth.

The ancient vampire turned back to his daughter as she continued, "And well, as you know. Tsukune-kun can only remove the rosario when Moka-chan's in danger. So, I... Uh, I..."

"You started smashing furniture?" Alucard asked in a low, threatening tone.

The red head's eyes went wide. "I'll fix it. I'll fix it!" And she scrambled to do just that.

Alucard sighed, pinched the brim of his nose and shook his head.

Seras finally managed to string together a coherent sentence... well almost. "Master, your hair... and your clothes... and your skin!"

The vampire turned to his fledgling. "Do you like, Police Girl?"

"I... uh, it's... different. Why the change?"

"This is how I looked when my daughters were conceived. And this is how I usually look when I interact with them. I wouldn't want them not to recognize me, now would I?"Alucard replied.

"Uh, I guess that makes sense."

"E-excuse me?" Alucard and Seras looked over to see the pink haired daughter holding her hand up in the air like a kid at school.

There was just the slightest trace of a warm smile on the ancient vampire's face as he replied, "Moka-chan, you don't have to raise your hand. This isn't Yōkai Academy."

"Hehe." Moka giggled as she lowered her hand. "So, uh... who's Integra?"

"How do you know of her?" Alucard asked.

Moka pointed over at Seras. "She said that Integra would stake us if she saw what we'd done to the room."

Alucard sighed and thought for a moment. His relationship to Integra was not exactly easy to explain... especially to his fifteen year old daughters. Still, he could give them the basics. "She's... my master."

Moka gasped. "You... you serve another vampire? A female vampire?"

"No... She's human."

This time both daughters gasped, and Kokoa looked up from a chair she was in the process of gluing back together. "But... But I thought you hated humans?"

"Only the weak ones." Alucard replied then turned to glare at the fifteen year old boy who was finally crawling out from under the table.

Moka touched her finger tips together again as she responded, "Tsukune-kun isn't weak."

Alucard quickly turned on his daughter, and the pink haired girl thought he was going to snap at her for defending Tsukune. However, before the ancient vampire opened his mouth, he caught sight of the rosario hanging from Moka's neck; and his face took on a thoughtful expression.

"Hmmmm." The No-Life King's hand went up to stroke his chin for a moment. Then he turned to his fledgling. "You said that the minister backed out, right?"

"Actually I said he was in a coma." Seras corrected.

"Same difference." Alucard replied before asking, "Tell me, Police Girl, how would you feel about a priest preforming the ceremony?"

Once again Seras's brow knit together. If they had such trouble finding a minister who was willing to marry two vampires, what possible chance did they have of finding a priest? Still she answered her master. "Uh, as long as it's a man of God, I don't really care."

"Good." The ancient vampire replied. "In that case, Police Girl. I want you to see to my daughters for a little while. I must go speak with my master." Alucard turned and began to leave the room.

Moka called out after him. "Father, wait!"

The ancient vampire turned. "Yes, child?"

"Uh... We just got here, and... And it's been over a year since I saw you last, and... I was just hoping..."

Alucard sighed and walked back over to the pink haired girl. "You want to catch up. I can understand that. But the wedding's still a week away. We have plenty of time. I'll be back in a little while; but right now, I have something I need to talk over with my master." The vampire sire kissed his daughter on her forehead then turned and started walking back to the door.

Halfway to the door, Alucard shook his head, returning it to it's normal appearance, absent only the red fedora. Then he paused and cast another look back at his daughter, who seemed a little surprised by the change in her father's appearance. "While I'm gone, why don't you take the opportunity to acquaint yourself with my bride... to be?" Alucard motioned his hand, indicating Seras. "I bet the two of you have a lot in common."

(Well, what did you think of the fourth chapter? Please review and let me know if you liked it, thanks.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.)


	5. A Priest to Wed the Undead

**CHAPTER 5: A Priest to Wed the Undead**

**AN: **I'm afraid that this chapter won't be very humor filled. Sorry, but I just need this for the story. The next chapter should be funnier... much funnier.

It was past midnight as Alucard hovered outside the rectory window, tapping on the glass. Normally the vampire would've simply shadow shifted in, but there were a number of Holy relics within the room, and they created a strong enough barrier to keep him from entering without permission. So, he tapped and waited to be invited in. Of course the No-Life King had no doubt that he would be. The priest was an old friend... well perhaps 'friend' wasn't quite the right word. But Alucard had known the man for as long as he could remember. Besides, the priest would probably not want any one to see the seven foot tall vampire hovering outside his window.

By the third tap, the priest who was far older than he seemed, looked up from the ancient parchment in his hands. He turned to the window; and after a brief moment of shock, he got up to open it. "So, the prodigal son has returned?" Lightning flashed in the sky above as the priest crossed his arms in front of his chest. "What's it been Vlad*?"

"Only five years." A few drops of rain began to fall, and tiny streams of smoke rose from the areas of Alucard's body were they hit*. But it was nothing the powerful vampire couldn't handle.

"Yes, and before that over three hundred and fifty. The last time you came you wanted me to teach you how to make a demon seal. What do you want from me this time?"

Alucard opened his mouth... then closed it. He hovered there for a moment as the ludicrous request passed through his mind. _My fledgling won't sleep with me unless we get married first, and she wants a Man of God to preform the ceremony. How do you feel about marrying a couple of vampires? _Yes, it sounded just as insane as ever, but he'd come all the way to Paris to make the request. He wasn't about to back out now. Besides the worse the priest could do would be say no. Well, the worst would be laugh in his face. But still, "I want to be married."

The priest arced an eyebrow. "Married? To a woman?" The priest wore a look of absolute shock.

"Yes, of course to a woman, you brain dead... I mean, yes... Father." Alucard did his best to sound respectful, but he couldn't help grimacing as the last word left his lips.

"Indeed?" The priest replied, not seemingly convinced of the vampire's sincerity. Still, he stepped aside. "Come in out of the rain... son." The priest said, doing his best to cover up a slight grimace of his own.

Finally the barrier gave way, and Alucard floated in through the window. "Thank you, Fath..."

Alucard was cut off by the priest. "Let us dispense with the titles. I don't think you want to call me 'father' anymore than I want to call you 'son'."

"Agreed," Alucard replied with a slight smirk. "Darius*." The vampire sat down in the chair that the priest had previously occupied, and Darius pulled up a stool.

"So," The priest began once they had both made themselves as comfortable as they could on the old, hard, wooden seats. "Tell me about this girl."

Alucard sighed. He'd gone through this before, back before he became a vampire, back when taking a bride didn't involve sucking her blood. Even then he hadn't liked the 'interrogation' stage. "She's my fledgling."

"Then she's already one of your... 'brides'. Why come to me?"

"She's... different than most." Alucard sighed again. "She'll accept me as her master but nothing more, not without a... 'traditional' marriage."

The priest cracked a small smile. "Different indeed. So, the girl still has some morals... despite what you've turned her into."

"She made the choice of her own free will!" Alucard protested.

"Oh, did she now? Somehow I doubt that. Perhaps she thinks she did... but we both know better. You've never been one to be denied. If she 'chose' to be turned by you, I'm sure you manipulated the situation so that she didn't have very many other options."

Alucard's anger gave way to a sly grin. "You know me well."

"Well, I should. I known you since before you could walk, even preformed your christening." The priest returned the vampire's sly grin. "Even back then there was something... different about you. For awhile I suspected you might be one of us. But it seems you were destined to walk a darker road." The priest finished with a note a sorrow.

"You... regret that I became a vampire, don't you?"

"I regret whenever one of God's children is lost to the Devil. But your fate was sealed the moment you began to blame God for your own failures."

"I blamed Him only because it was His fault." Alucard replied through grit teeth. "He let my army be massacred, my first wife commit suicide and my enemies capture me. I fought for Him and he didn't do a thing to help me. I did not leave God, Darius. He left me!"

"Did He, Vlad?" The priest chuckled slightly. "Did He? When did He ask you to fight for Him, to kill and butcher in His name? At what point did the Lord tell you to destroy the Turks?"

"They were heathens! They had no right to the Holy Land."

"Neither did the Romans of Christ's time, but I don't remember Him ever calling for their destruction."

Alucard stood from his chair and started to the door. "I see that it was a mistake to come here." The vampire growled.

"No, wait!" The priest exclaimed, and Alucard turned his head back. Darius sighed, "Perhaps it was a mistake to open those old wounds. Let us drop the matter and get back to the reason you came."

Alucard turned from the priest and looked over at the window. He hesitated a moment, then turned back to the priest. The vampire huffed but walked back over and reclaimed his seat. "Fine, but no more talk of the past. Better to concentrate on the present. Besides, the past can't be changed anyway."

"Agreed... So, getting back to the present. You want this girl, right? That is why you're marrying her, isn't it?"

"Yes, why else?" Alucard replied as if the priest's last question was as ridiculous as the one about whether or not the vampire wanted to marry a woman.

"Well there's love, the desire to share your life with another, to have someone who'll stick by you through the difficult times and enjoy the good ones with you." The priest paused for a moment, but Alucard offered no reply. So Darius continued, "Not that things like that would matter anymore, not to someone like you."

Alucard looked over at the priest, feeling a little angry although he didn't know why. Normally the vampire would take such a statement as a compliment. Being past the petty ideals of love and dependence on others showed that you were free. Yet, somehow he still felt angry.

The priest brought his hand up, covering a slight smirk that he could no longer repress, and stroked the side of his cheek in a mock thoughtful manner. "Well then, I only have one more question. If you want this girl so much, why don't you simply take her? As I said, you've never been one to be denied." The priest could see anger continuing to rise in the vampire's face, but still Darius went on. "Why go through the farce of a wedding when you can simply take what you want? If she's your fledgling, you are certainly stronger than her. Why not bend her over your coffin and make her yours, your bitch, your whore, just like all the others?"

Alucard growled in feral rage, and charged the priest. There was another flash of lightning outside the window, and thunder boomed as the vampire used his arm to pin the priest's throat against one of the room's old stone walls. "Do not talk about her like that! Do not!" The vampire growled from deep in his throat as he stared murderously into the priest's eyes.

But surprisingly there was no fear in the priest's face. He just laughed, "Good. Yes, very good. Just the response I was looking for... though I did have to push you a little bit harder than I'd have liked. Still," The priest paused and locked eyes with the vampire. "You love her, don't you?" The priest's lip curled into a sly smile.

Alucard growled and pushed harder, crushing the priest's wind pipe before releasing him. "You could've asked!"

The priest wheezed for a moment while the wound regenerated. Then he replied. "I did. You... didn't answer."

"That was... a dangerous game to play, Darius."

"But a necessary one, I'm afraid. I'm not in the habit of marrying people simply so they can... 'sleep' with one another."

"Then... you will marry us?" The vampire asked.

"Yes." The priest replied. "I don't know if it'll hold up before God, but I'm satisfied. And perhaps the girl will be good for you. She obviously has some morals. Maybe a few of them will rub off."

"Heaven forbid." The vampire half joked.

The priest chuckled slightly. "Indeed? I suspect a few may have already."

"And what," The vampire began. "Is that suppose to mean?"

The priest just shook his head for a moment before asking, "When's the wedding?"

"The twenty-first."

"Less than a week away?"

"Yes. My master will call you with the details." Alucard answered as he began to head towards the window again.

"I'm sure she will." The priest replied before calling out, "Care for a game before you leave?" Alucard turned to see the priest motioning to an old chess board. "For old time's sake."

Alucard began to head back over to the priest. "I call black."

"Of course, Vlad." The priest replied sounding somewhat amused. "You always have."

(Well, what did you think of the Firth chapter? Please review and let me know if you liked it, thanks.

*Vlad is Count Dracula's first name. He's also a historic person of some significance.

*In the Rosario+Vampire series, water (like silver) is harmful to vampires because of its cleansing properties.

*Darius is a character from the Highlander series. He's an immortal priest who has lived over nine hundred years. Once a selfish, manipulative and cynical but very skilled general, his life changed after he killed a 'Holy Man' outside the gates of Paris. From that day on (perhaps influenced by a quickening from the Holy Man), Darius forsook war and became a strong advocate of peace and understanding between different peoples.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.)


	6. Final Preparations

**A MARRIAGE FOR THE BIRDS**

**CHAPTER 6: Final Preparations.**

On June twenty-first the day had finally come when the No-Life King would take a queen. And what a queen he would have. Seras looked positively radiant, in her long, flowing, white wedding dress, as Alucard's two daughters buzzed around her like busy bees, for everything needed to be perfect.

Meanwhile outside the mansion, Integra wasn't enjoying herself nearly as much as she attempted to keep everything in order. "What... what are you doing?!"

"Just delivering the doves." A man replied as he set down a forth crate.

"Four crates of doves, each holding two dozen? There must be some kind of mistake. What possible need would we have for ninety-six doves?"

The man shrugged. "Hey I just deliver them. I don't ask questions. Whatever you're planning to do with two semi-trailers full of doves is your business."

"T-Two semi-trailers? Two semi-trailers! You must be insane! Why would we order two semi-trailers full of doves?"

"Hey, Lady, like I said, 'I just deliver them. I don't..."

"Don't ask questions." Integra finished for the man.

"Right." He nodded before turning and heading out for another load.

Integra stopped the man by putting a hand on his shoulder. The man turned his head and Integra said, "Let me see the order form."

"Sure thing, Boss. I'll bring it in along with the next crate."

"No. Don't bring in another..."

But Integra was interrupted by a familiar voice coming from behind her back. "Well, hello again, my English..." The speaker paused, and Integra turned to find Maxwell standing behind her. The Iscariot continued, "'Lady'."

"Maxwell, what on Earth are you doing here?"

"Why we were invited, of course."

"Funny, I don't remember putting Insane Catholic- wait, we?"

Maxwell turned and indicated the small group that was coming around the corner of the building. "Yes, Alexander Anderson, Heinkel Wolfe, Yumiko Takagi and myself. Don't you remember inviting us?" The Catholic bishop asked the stunned Protestant knight.

It took Integra a moment to recover from the shock of seeing the Iscariots on her lawn. But once she was back to herself, she curtly replied, "No. And I think that's something I'd remember."

"Well then, perhaps your mind is going." Maxwell replied with a sly smile as he pulled an invitation from his vest pocket and began to read, "Vlad Drăculea and Seras Victoria request the honor of your presence on their wedding day. The ceremony will start on the grounds at three o'clock in the afternoon, June twenty-first, and will be followed by a reception within the Hellsing Mansion. Please RSVP."

Integra's eyes were as wide as dinner plates. They really had been invited. In one last ditch attempt to keep her enemies out of her house, without creating a major diplomatic incident, the knight asked, "Did... Did you RSVP?"

Maxwell smiled and made an insincere half bow. "Of course, we called up your butler a week after receiving the invitations." Maxwell stood back up and smiled slyly before continuing, "I'm having the chicken, by the way."

_This... This can't be happening. What's next? Did we invite Millennium too? There has to be some way out of this. There just has..._

Integra's thoughts were interrupted by the slam of another crate of doves, being set down behind her. The knight turned to see the delivery man handing her an order form. "Here you go, Boss. You know I expected there'd be people here to help me unload this stuff. If you can't provide me with some help, I'm never going to get all these crates off loaded in time for... well, whatever you're planning."

"It's a wedding." The nearby nun offered up, and the delivery man tipped his hat in a silent 'thanks' gesture.

Integra just couldn't believe her eyes as she read the order form. Seras had apparently ordered twelve thousand white 'love' doves! _Has the fledgling lost her mind?! Why does she want so many?_ Integra wondered. Yet, there was no doubt. Who else but Seras would draw little hearts for zeros*?

Integra sighed. She had told the fledgling that it was her wedding. But the knight had never expected the vampire to go so overboard with the doves. Still, Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing was a woman of her word. She looked back up at the delivery man and nearly growled, "Fine. I'll send some of the servants out to help you."

Of course, Integra wasn't the only one having problems. Within the largest room in the mansion's servant's wing, Walter, the aged Hellsing butler, drove himself into a near panic, trying to remember where he'd placed the ring. "That does it!" The butler exclaimed while rummaging through his sock drawer. "That's the last time I throw a stag party. I'm just too old for that kind of stuff! Even if I am the Best Man."

The butler, of course, had far too much respect for Seras to hire strippers. So the small stag party had consisted of nothing but poker, smoking and drinking... lots and lots of drinking. It appeared that vampires had an excessively high tolerance for alcohol, but unfortunately, seventy-one* year old Englishmen were not quite so... 'gifted'. Walter had been so wasted by the time he managed to crawl back to his room that he'd completely forgotten what he'd done with the ring.

In the mansion's dark sub-levels, Alucard sat in his throne and sipped a glass of blood wine. The ancient vampire was rather put off by the fact that he couldn't see his 'Police Girl' until the ceremony. It was a stupid superstition, most likely caused by horny kids, who overcome with passion, were unable to wait any longer for each other. The vampire scoffed at the thought. He'd waited two years. It wasn't like he'd be unable to keep his hands off of her for another half a day. Still... it was tradition, and the ancient vampire was a 'man' of his word. He'd abide by the ridiculous tradition. Besides, he was fairly confident the the eventual reward would be worth the slight inconvenience.

After a few more sips, the No-Life King decided that, if he couldn't see his bride, he'd pester his master. So the ancient vampire set his wine glass down and chuckled darkly as he teleported to Integra's side.

Integra heard the chuckling before Alucard even took form. "Not now, Alucard. I'm busy."

"With what, my master?" The knight let out a frustrated growl, grabbed her pistol and proceeded to fire three rounds into the vampire's forming head. Alucard took the rather obvious hint that Integra was nearing her breaking point; and for once, the vampire decided not to push her over. However, he still couldn't keep a glib remark from escaping his mouth. "Feel better, Master?"

Integra's lip curled slightly. "A little."

"Glad I could be of help." Alucard replied with a dark chuckle.

"You really want to help?"

"No, not really." Alucard replied flatly.

Integra sighed. "Didn't think so."

But then Alucard surprised his master by continuing, "But I will anyway." The vampire made a respectful bow. "After all, a loyal servant is always **willing** to help his master."

"Good." Integra half smiled. "In that case, you can help unload the doves while I go look for my wayward butler and have a little... talk with him about inviting the Iscariots."

"The Judas Priest is here?" Alucard asked, a hint of excitement in his voice. "You know, I could... 'take care' of them for you." The vampire offered.

Integra let out a half laugh, half snort before replying, "No, no. A vampire vs Priest fight is the last thing this wedding needs. I think you better just stick with the doves."

"Yes, Master." Alucard respectfully replied, but he inwardly grimaced at the idea of handling the white birds. Still, the job couldn't possibly take very long. After all, how many doves could there be?

Integra left the vampire and began searching for her butler.

Said butler had finally found the ring. How it had ended up around a purple Popsicle stick in his small, personal ice box, Walter had no idea. But at least he'd found it. The aged butler hurried to his bathroom sink and began to clean the blasted thing. It really wouldn't do to hand over a dirty and sticky ring.

While Walter washed off the ring, its eventual owner had just received the finishing touches to her dress. Seras got down off of the small pedestal and looked herself over in the mirror. "Perfect." The vampire commented and smiled broadly. But then she heard a familiar voice outside her room.

"Bathroom? Bathroom? If I was a Protestant Heathen, where would I hide de bathroom?"

Seras's eyes went wide as she recognized the voice as the one belonging to Alexander Anderson. Then the Fledgling's face flushed, and her eyes turned red. She burst out of her dressing room; and before Anderson even had a chance to turn towards the vampire, her hands were locked around his throat. "You will not ruin my wedding!" Seras shouted as she continued to thrash the priest's neck.

"We... we were in-invited." Anderson managed to choke out.

"Liar!" Seras angrily spat as the priest's face began to turn blue.

And the fledgling may have actually killed the Iscariot priest, if Darius hadn't happened to come around the corner. The immortal priest saw the vampire fledgling choking the life out of someone. "What are you doing?!" Darius shouted as he ran over and helped pull the vampire's hands apart.

"Wait! No! You don't understand! He's here to attack my master and ruin my wedding!" The vampire shouted as the two priests overpowered her and pinned her to the wall.

"Attack your master, really? In a three piece suit?"

Seras finally began to calm down. "You... you mean you really were invited?"

"Aye, dat's what I said."

"Oh. Sorry." Seras let out an embarrassed giggle. "I just assumed th-"

"But since ye attacked me..." Anderson interrupted and flicked his wrist producing a blessed bayonet.

"Now, none of that." Darius said as he moved himself in between the advancing priest and the vampire fledgling.

"She tried to kill me." Anderson protested.

"Oh, right. And you've never tried to kill me." Seras replied sarcastically.

"We are here for a wedding, a holy union set forth by the Lord God Almighty. There will be no killing. Or so help me, the Lord's wrath will be upon the both of you." Darius stated with just enough zeal and authority to cause Anderson to back down.

The Iscariot growled but flicked his wrist, and the bayonet vanished. "Fine. Have it ye way. But de next time I see dat... Lilith, I'm gonna..."

"Save it for next time." Darius growled back before turning to Seras and suggesting, "You may want to go back to your room." The priest continued in a whisper. "This fellow seems to have quite a temper... Besides, you should probably straighten out that dress." Darius flashed the vampire a kind smile, and she nodded understandingly then left the two priests.

"Ye de one dey got ta preform de ceremony?"

"Yeah."

"And ye got no problem marrying a couple of vampires?" Anderson asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Would you rather they live in sin?" Darius replied solemnly.

Anderson laughed deeply. "Deir vampires. No other way for em to live." Then the Iscariot turned and resumed his search for a bathroom, chuckling as he went.

* * *

(Well, what did you think of the sixth chapter? Please review and let me know if you liked it, thanks.

*Remember Seras's heart doodles in chapter two? Apparently they were placed in a very... inconvenient place on the order form. LoL

*Walter was supposedly sixty nine in the Hellsing series; but since this AU takes place two years after Alucard met Seras, I decided to make Walter a little bit older.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.)

To EXecutioneR: Thanks for the review. I'm glad you thought the last chapter was "Awesome" and liked the way I got a 'confession' from the No-Life King. I hope you continue to enjoy this. :)


	7. Mr and Mrs Dracula

**A MARRIAGE FOR THE BIRDS**

**CHAPTER 7: Mr. and Mrs. ****Dracula****.**

Alucard had no sooner unloaded the last crate of doves than some frenzied cook accidentally bumped into him and fell to the floor. Alucard glared down at the fallen cook, who looked like he was barely able to keep from wetting himself. "Is there a problem?" The vampire asked in a slightly threatening tone.

"I-I-I n-need t-ta find S-S-Sir Integra." The cook stammered before adding a cowardly and pleading, "Please, don't eat me."

Alucard just continued glaring. "I'm not going to eat you..." The cook seemed to calm slightly, but then Alucard continued, "But, Master might... She's not in a very good mood right now."

The cook gulped. "B-but there's a problem. The truck that was suppose to deliver the chickens got in an accident. And-d... and now we don't have any chicken for the wedding dinner."

"Hmmm." Alucard replied and stroked his chin. The vampire's lip then curled and he looked over at the crate of doves. "I think I've got an idea." Alucard said before chuckling darkly.

* * *

**(And now, continuing from where the first chapter left off:)**

It had been a long time, centuries in fact, since Darius had held a blade. But there were somethings one never forgot: the first person they ever had a crush on, how to ride a bike, or in Darius's case... a horse; and of course, the perfect balance of a well forged Katana. The immortal priest leapt into the fray, slicing and dicing the small birds with the skill of a millennium old swordsman.

Seras was not quite... 'impressed', by the display. After seeing her master and Walter in action, it took a **lot** to impress the fledgling vampire. But she was pleasantly surprised. It seemed that Darius didn't really need her protection after all. Tsukune, on the other hand, did.

The boyfriend of Alucard's daughter was huddled down with his hands over his head. And rather than trying to fight the murderous birds off, the fifteen year old just stayed where he was and did his best to shield his small body from the mad doves' sharp talons.

"Ahhhh!" Tsukune screamed as he suffered dozens of small cuts to his hands and back, each one causing small spurts of blood to leap into the air, spurts which served to attract even more of the psychotic 'rats with wings'.

Seras charged to the young boy's defense, batting at the birds with her hands, while the sweet smell of Tsukune's virgin blood filled her senses, causing her stomach to rumble and her eyes to glow red. Seras tried to fight her instincts, to resist the urge to feed, but soon the fledgling vampire's nature got the better of her. She gave into her blood lust... but not completely. Rather then feeding on the boy, the fledgling instead began to grab hold of the doves and tear them apart above her head, spilling their life blood into her waiting mouth.

No longer feeling the sting of the birds' talons, Tsukune tentatively removed his hands from his head and looked around; but what he saw made his blood run cold with fear. Despite dating one of Alucard's daughters and getting to know both her 'sealed' and 'unsealed' versions fairly well, the fifteen year old, had never seen a vampire in true blood lust before; and overcome by fear, he ran.

"No, wait! Stay down! You're going to get hurt!" Darius called out as he took off after the kid.

Seras just ignored them both and continued to 'feed' from the doves that attempted to swarm her.

"Ahhhhh!" Tsukune yelled as he ran away from the blood lust vampire.

"Ehhhhhh!" Moka shrieked as she ran from another pack of crazed doves.

And when the two met, Tsukune tripped and instinctively grabbed hold of Moka's rosario for support. However, the cross came off of its chain, and both it and Tsukune fell to the ground. Then there was a flash of deep purple light. Moka's pink hair turned silver; and her bust line, the size of her rear and the length of her fingernails all noticeably increased.

Not too far away, a bat flew up into the air and commented, "When the Rosario is removed from Moka-chan's neck, the blood of a true vampire awake..."

The bat was cut off as Kokoa reached up and grabbed it. "What do you think you're doing? Get back here and help me out." Alucard's other daughter said, sounding put out that her weapon had decided to transform and play commentator.

A bead of sweat rolled down the bat's face, and it let out a nervous laugh as it shifted back into a mace.

Meanwhile, the 'dark' Moka had fully risen to the surface. She effortlessly batted away an attacking dove and looked around before casting an annoyed expression at Tsukune. "You brought me out to deal with a bunch of doves?"

Tsukune laughed nervously. "Well... they're attacking everyone... even the other Moka was running from them, and... Well, I tripped. And... and it was an accident."

Moka huffed and rolled her eyes before replying. "Well, at least there's a lot of them. Maybe their numbers will provide some... **meager** entertainment." And with that the silver haired 'S'-class monster began a full fledged assault, of aerial kicks, against the swarming doves.

Darius, seeing that the 'unsealed' Moka was more than capable of protecting Tsukune by herself, ran back to where he'd left Seras and tried to calm her blood lust mode before she went too far and attacked one of the wedding guests.

* * *

Blasting the doves with a gun had finally begun to lose its appeal to the No-Life King. He turned to his master, sighing as he blew the head off of another dove without even looking. "Master, have you had enough, yet?"

Integra discharged three more rounds before turning to her servant. "Enough? This whole thing is utterly preposterous! Of course I've had enough, you bloody idiot!"

Alucard grinned smugly. "Well in that case, Master... Do I have your authorization to release the Control Art Restriction?"

Integra stopped and thought about the request for a moment before growling. "Fine, Alucard, but only until the doves have been dealt with... and do try to keep from hurting the wedding guests."

"Even the Iscariots?" Alucard asked, prompting offended looks from Maxwell, Yumiko and Heinkel.

"Yes, Alucard, even the Iscariots. We did invite them after all. It would be in poor taste to allow my... 'pet' to rip them apart and suck their blood." Integra replied with a half smile.

Alucard let out a dark chuckle before responding, "Very well, Master. Releasing Control Art Restriction to level three... level two... level one. Situation B. The Cromwell approval is now in effect. Hold release until targets are silenced." And with that Alucard's 'human' form disappeared beneath a swirling mass of red eyed shadows.

The mass floated up and a dark chuckling filled the air as black tendrils shot out, skewering the remaining birds in mid-flight. The tendrils then retracted back into the shadowed mass, pulling thousands of twitching birds along with them.

And with a disembodied belch, it was all over. Not a single dove could be seen anywhere in the skies above the Hellsing mansion, and the mass of shadows descended back to the ground. The black mass then twisted itself inside-out until, once again, Alucard stood in his human form.

* * *

Darius had finally managed to calm Seras out of her blood lust mode. The fledgling looked up at the priest with an embarrassed expression. "S-Sorry."

Darius smiled back down. "It's okay... At least you didn't hurt anyone." Seras half smiled, and Darius continued. "Come on, let's go find that groom of yours." Then the half smile expanded into a full fledged one as Seras rose and the two set off to find her master.

Luckily, he wasn't too hard to find. He was still in the same place that Seras had seen the shadow mass descending to. Seras called out and waved at her master, before seeing the sleeve of her dress and realizing how horrible she must look.

The fledgling's dress was nearly shredded from the doves' sharp talons. Her hair was matted down with a mixture of blood and sweat. Her body... as well as what remained of her dress was caked in blood and guts from the doves she'd fought. Yet, to her master... Seras had never looked better.

Alucard shadow shifted over to his bride's side and looked her over, hungrily.

Darius, recognizing, the gleam in Alucard's eyes decided to cut to the chase, before his... less than pure groom got carried away. "Do you, Vlad Drăculea, take this woman, Seras Victoria, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall... 'live'?"

"Of course I..." Alucard began.

But Darius cut the vampire off, "I wasn't finished yet." The priest loudly cleared his throat. "Now... Do you promise to love and cherish her; and, forsaking **all** others, pledge to her your commitment and your... **fidelity** until death do you part?"

Alucard glared at the priest for his implication... But the vampire did understand why Darius had emphasized the part he did. To have and to hold was one thing, but to pledge one's fidelity and to forsake all others was quite another... especially for an immortal vampire. Eternity was a long time. Alucard's face twisted slightly, but then he looked down into Seras's beautiful eyes. They were so full of hope... and love... even towards a self admitted monster like him. "Oh, fine." Alucard replied.

And Darius, wisely deciding not to push for the traditional 'I do', moved on to Seras. "Do you, Seras Victoria..."

"I do." The vampire fledgling replied before Darius could get another word out.

The immortal priest shook his head. "Anxious?" He asked with a slight grin. Seras blushed, and Darius chuckled. "Fine. Then by the power invested in me by God Almighty and through the divinity of His only begotten son, our Lord Jesus Christ, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Seras closed her eyes, parted her lips slightly and leaned forward expectantly. She was then roughly jerked and laid across Alucard's shoulder.

Seras eeped, before exclaiming, "Master, what... what are you doing? You're suppose to kiss me." Seras responded as she squirmed in protest.

Alucard repositioned her slightly, tightening his grip, and began to walk towards the mansion. "Oh don't worry, Police Girl. I'm going to 'kiss you' all right. But I doubt you're going to want to be out in public when I do." Alucard smiled smugly before continuing, "Besides, we wouldn't want to give my daughters any ideas... now would we?"

Although Seras couldn't see the smile from her position, she still got her master's meaning. "Oh." Seras failed to restrain a little giggle as her face flushed. But then she remembered something. "M-Master... What about the reception? All the guests..."

"Let them wait." Alucard growled as he entered the mansion and began to head towards the basement. "God knows I have." Alucard continued in a low grumbling voice that was more to himself than Seras. "Two years, absolutely ridiculous."

(Well, what did you think of the final chapter? I hope you enjoyed the ending. Please review and let me know. Thanks.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.)


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